* 5 min friday *

I am very late with my 5 min friday, it's almost friday again. But I had doubts about posting this story, but decided to post anyway because is very important in my life right now and I want to be able to read it back.

Recently I have been thinking about loss quite a bit, I might want to say I over think it, its in my mind on a daily basis. And there is a reason for that. In my direct surroundings I have been facing death more often than I have ever been used too. When I was about 13 years old my grandad died and that was terrible. I was heartbroken and cried a lot. But after that, I haven't been faced with dead again until now, almost 20 years later. That fact makes me happy because losing someone is terrible & devasting & hard to describe or put in words, so not facing this again is a true blessing.
But it also makes me worry now because my mom is becoming older and even though I want it, she will not live for ever. I will be without close relatives when she is gone. No one to visit, to go over and chat and discuss problems with. It makes me wonder if I made the right choices in my life.
The funny thing is that just they other day, someone told me; never to question or doubt your decisions. If they are not the right ones, just make a new deciscion. It is very true... But sometimes it's hard to let go of the old...