Blessing in Disguise

It's Monday Morning. Time for Monday Morning Mantra. I picked a new one from the list of Marc and Angel and made some word art with it. Hope you enjoy and get some inspiration from it.

Morning

It's 5 Min Friday again. This time the prompt is morning.

.

I am not a real morning person. Even though I go to bed early and have to wake up early. Mostly I sleep about 8 hours and that just about 1 or 2 hours too short for me. I need lots of sleep I guess and no matter in trying to train myself every time a little less sleep, it never works and I am only feeling bad, worse, worst.
I am a breakfast person though, I never really can get going without breakfast. Mostly it's only bread with first a cup of tea and later some coffee if I have enough time. Because mornings are mostly full of rush and hurry up, or at least in the world in which I live in. And I am not that quick in the morning.
Mornings also mean a fresh new start of the day. A new start to give your life and your thoughts and your ways a boost. An opportunity to forget yesterday and all it's troubles and to start over at the fresh clean sheet. Mornings are like pieces of white paper; clean, fresh, not written on, full of endless possibilities. It is your choice what you write down; negative of positive things. It has a big impact on you, how you feel, how you ARE, who is YOU.

I have to confess I only wanted to upload 5 min Friday  when I had a good photo to go with it, so I quickly took some shots for breakfast. I didn't have much to add more texture or color into it, but this one I liked a lot. So guess I also use the prompts to be creative in image not only writing.

* Have Faith in Your Journey *

Earlier this week I was hugely inspired by this article on Morning Mantra's  on marcandangel.com

It's about meditating on a mantra every day of the week. Along came a list of beautiful wise words which are really helpful in finding peace of mind, giving strenght in difficult times.



I decided I really could try this but I need reminders of the quote so I am planning on making word art each week and post on monday morning the mantra for that week.

I am not following their list 1 by 1 but choose what speaks to me and even may make some of my own.

 

* Forget or Remember *

How can I forget you when my world is breaking down. You're all I have, 

you're all I want.... Those are the first words that come to my mind when 

I read the word Forget. It's a song by Abba 

sung by Agnetha Faltskog and it's one of my favorites.

At this moment I don't know if I want to forget about him and all my 

memories I have of him or if I want to remember all that we had and did 

and hang to it for dear life. I am at the a crossroad. One moment I want to 

relish in the memories of happier days together and the next I am totally 

pissed at him for being such an asshole and throwing away all the good 

we had. Also the bad, but hey it cannot all be moons and roses. That's life 

together as well. 

Remembering means holding on and sometimes holding on to something is 

more hurting than letting go. Holding on to someone who doesn't love you 

is useless. The act of loving it self isn't useless, it's the most precious 

emotion people can feel and express. What brings joy and makes you feel 

alive in every small part of you body.

Forgetting means moving forward with my life and my head knows it's the 

best thing to do, if he wants he will return. If not it's simply not meant to be. 

I also read that even if you want something really badly you still don't get it, 

because something better is waiting for you. 

So that's something good and positive to focus on. Let's keep on doing that.


My entry for this weeks 5 min Friday; write for 5 minutes, no editing. 

* Limit - 5 min Friday *

This week's prompt for 5 min Friday is limit.

I have limited myself in believing very firmly in what I can do and can't do. And I want to stop that. I want to believe there is no limit in what I can achieve in life if I really want to. The truth is if you believe you can you are half way there. There is so much to do so much to learn. There is enough for everybody to do to share to enjoy. There is no need to limit yourself by comparing to others. Okay, you may not be there yet, but that's also ok. Growing is a proces an ongoing proces. Just keep an open mind, try something new, put your fears behind you. Believe in yourself, don't let other people's opions or negative gossip or anything else put you down. Keep trying, keep growing. Even the tiniest step you make is still progress...

While on the other hand, I keep giving people everything I can and can do. Never put myself first. I have stepped over my line, my limit all to often. This is part of me and who I am, but I don't want to keeping doing this because it's not healthy for myself. I have to take care of me first, than others come.

* focussing on the positive *

Again Friday came and went away, I had no time to write the previous week for 5 min friday. So I am writing it now.

Go:

Focus on the best part of your life instead of the worst. Everything you give your attention grows. If you focus to much on the parts in your life you don't like it will go in power and strength until it overwelms you. Try instead to focus on everything you love, everything that makes you smile. Even if it's as small as a morning coffee, birds whistling, the smell of fresh mown grass. Currently I am working hard on to following my own advise. I will admit it's not Always easy, but as goes with everything practise makes perfect. But who needs perfect anyway?

The other part of focussing is the meaning it gives to me for photography. Aim the camera, focus and push and the click resonates in the air.
Slowly I am trying my hand at it. I have loved it in the past. Hopefully not everything has died along with the depression. But I am still not feeling it. It gives no pleasure like before. I don't fall in love with a photo I took like I used to before. But as with everything, time heals. Just keep trying, push yourself forward but all with in reason and what feels ok. Not good, not perfect, not bliss, but OK the rest will come in sweet time.

* Quiet *

Again it's Five Minute Friday time! I checked the promp on Twitter Thursday already so I had some more time to think on it and plan my photo around the them. Now is the case that this photo is in my head for weeks already, so it was about high time to get this shot.

 

So here goes:

I am and have Always been a quiet person. An introvert, not staying in the front row. Not much of a talker either. I leave that to other persons, mostly much better at it than me. I like the quiet, the still, the time alone with my own thinking and wondering. Enjoying music, enjoying a good read, enjoying still life photography, enjoying walks or bike rides, enjoying breathing in the Woods, enjoying nature and flowers, enjoying surfing the internet and reading and learning new things. It's amazing.
Quiet doesn't mean boring, or alone or lonesome. The quiet is bringing peace to mind and soul. Time to recharge the batteries again. So you can go about into the world with energy.
Now being ill, I am definitively planning more quiet me time. Simply because I need it and do better on it.

I start to enjoy this weekly writing. Still struggling to find words and text and fill the 5 minutes. But keep on trying :)

* present *

This week for 5 min Friday the word is present.

Here is my take at it.

The first what comes to my mind with present is the saying, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present. And that is how I want to look at life again. I want to feel happy again. Taking everyday as it comes. Not worrying. Leaving things to God, knowing it all will work out for the best. Everything happens for a reason, was Always my mantra and I need to believe and want to believe that again. There is a plan for me waiting to fold itself out.
And I also want to be present in my own life again. Trying to enjoy the small things. Doing the things I liked before I got ill with depression. I can beat it. I know I can. Yes, I need medication, yes I need help, but in they end it's ME who is taking care of it.
Being present at work. Trying to get engaged in matters again. Living in the now.
Being present for friends again. Talk to them, enjoying time together instead of complaining.
Being present in my heart. My heart filled with love.


I notice I find it hard and difficult to write. I know what I want to say but the words keep silent within my head. Something to work on....

* 5 min friday - TIME *

 

Now, the time has come, we are apart. And it's breaking my heart. Yet I knew this day was about to come for some time now, and I am happy you said it now. Time will heal wounds they say. I guess I have all the time of the world now to figure out if that is true or not. Time will pass anyway. Saying goodbyes is not something I am very good at. In fact I have been holding on to you to us for far too long because I couldn't say goodbye. Memories are also now part of the time. Our time together. I will cherish them, there are good memories. There are bad memories There are memories of those in between. It's life, we both have to move on. Nothing lasts forever it seems nowadaysk or at least that's the way it feels to me. And that is making me really sad.

* First *

 

The first tulips of this year. Hope there will be many more. It's not the first photo's I am taking this year, but I am hoping that when I keep taking photo's I will come to enjoy it more like I did before I came ill. It's the end of the first week of the first month of 2016 and it's been a very bad week. My body is failing me and I don't know how to turn it around. But the first thing I need to do is start believing, really truly believing that all will be good again. Have faith. Becoming sick didn't happen over night so healing will take time as well.
Trust
Believe
Keeping going
Fighting
It's been the first migraine of this year. Working hard so that it's the last one.
By dringing ginger tea
start taking magnesium tablets 1 week before the period starts
Relaxing trying to minimize stress as much as possible
trying to sleep well
First... also means new beginnings...

* Letting go in 2016 *

 

I was inspired a lot by a recent posting of Marc and Angel it really spoke to me and I want the new year to be the start I need to live a life less complicated and stressed and worried. So I decided to make something solid to help me remind whenever I need it.

The size is ok to print out for those who want :)

 

Sources: Creative Market, miumi-u-stock,

beorange, photo by me 

* Happy 2016 * One Little Word 2016 *

Happy New Year!

 

It has been very very long time ago since I last blogged. And every year, at the end of the year, I think I will do it more regulairy the new year. So I also did this year :) We will see how it goes.

 

 

I found the word Lovingly as my One little word for 2016.

The story behind my word; last year was a big struggle with being in depression and burn out of which I am still recovering. Depression was getting me more and more tighter in it's hold until I didn't know any better than feeling like I did. Now I have the choice to keep in this pattern or keep fighting hard and harder against it. Do I want to stay bitter or do I let love again in my hard. I want to be more lovingly. Towards people. Which I haven't been the kindest and nicest of most fun person to be around the last year. But also more lovingly towards myself. Respect who I am, what I stand for. Love myself as I am while I work hard to get better and work hard to improve myself. So I was thinking on lovingly thinking, behavior and such and than it struck me as I read Ali's blog that this was my Little word. (I had totally forgotten about it before)

 

Cheers to the new year!!