Saturday, January 30, 2016

* Quiet *

Again it's Five Minute Friday time! I checked the promp on Twitter Thursday already so I had some more time to think on it and plan my photo around the them. Now is the case that this photo is in my head for weeks already, so it was about high time to get this shot.

So here goes:

I am and have Always been a quiet person. An introvert, not staying in the front row. Not much of a talker either. I leave that to other persons, mostly much better at it than me. I like the quiet, the still, the time alone with my own thinking and wondering. Enjoying music, enjoying a good read, enjoying still life photography, enjoying walks or bike rides, enjoying breathing in the Woods, enjoying nature and flowers, enjoying surfing the internet and reading and learning new things. It's amazing.
Quiet doesn't mean boring, or alone or lonesome. The quiet is bringing peace to mind and soul. Time to recharge the batteries again. So you can go about into the world with energy.
Now being ill, I am definitively planning more quiet me time. Simply because I need it and do better on it.

I start to enjoy this weekly writing. Still struggling to find words and text and fill the 5 minutes. But keep on trying :)

Sunday, January 24, 2016

* present *

This week for 5 min Friday the word is present.
Here is my take at it.
The first what comes to my mind with present is the saying, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present. And that is how I want to look at life again. I want to feel happy again. Taking everyday as it comes. Not worrying. Leaving things to God, knowing it all will work out for the best. Everything happens for a reason, was Always my mantra and I need to believe and want to believe that again. There is a plan for me waiting to fold itself out.
And I also want to be present in my own life again. Trying to enjoy the small things. Doing the things I liked before I got ill with depression. I can beat it. I know I can. Yes, I need medication, yes I need help, but in they end it's ME who is taking care of it.
Being present at work. Trying to get engaged in matters again. Living in the now.
Being present for friends again. Talk to them, enjoying time together instead of complaining.
Being present in my heart. My heart filled with love.

I notice I find it hard and difficult to write. I know what I want to say but the words keep silent within my head. Something to work on....

Thursday, January 21, 2016

* 5 min friday - TIME *

Now, the time has come, we are apart. And it's breaking my heart. Yet I knew this day was about to come for some time now, and I am happy you said it now. Time will heal wounds they say. I guess I have all the time of the world now to figure out if that is true or not. Time will pass anyway. Saying goodbyes is not something I am very good at. In fact I have been holding on to you to us for far too long because I couldn't say goodbye. Memories are also now part of the time. Our time together. I will cherish them, there are good memories. There are bad memories There are memories of those in between. It's life, we both have to move on. Nothing lasts forever it seems nowadaysk or at least that's the way it feels to me. And that is making me really sad.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

* First *

The first tulips of this year. Hope there will be many more. It's not the first photo's I am taking this year, but I am hoping that when I keep taking photo's I will come to enjoy it more like I did before I came ill. It's the end of the first week of the first month of 2016 and it's been a very bad week. My body is failing me and I don't know how to turn it around. But the first thing I need to do is start believing, really truly believing that all will be good again. Have faith. Becoming sick didn't happen over night so healing will take time as well.
Keeping going
It's been the first migraine of this year. Working hard so that it's the last one.
By dringing ginger tea
start taking magnesium tablets 1 week before the period starts
Relaxing trying to minimize stress as much as possible
trying to sleep well
First... also means new beginnings...

Sunday, January 3, 2016

* Letting go in 2016 *

I was inspired a lot by a recent posting of Marc and Angel it really spoke to me and I want the new year to be the start I need to live a life less complicated and stressed and worried. So I decided to make something solid to help me remind whenever I need it.
The size is ok to print out for those who want :)
beorange, photo by me 

Friday, January 1, 2016

* Happy 2016 * One Little Word 2016 *

Happy New Year!
It has been very very long time ago since I last blogged. And every year, at the end of the year, I think I will do it more regulairy the new year. So I also did this year :) We will see how it goes.
I found the word Lovingly as my One little word for 2016.
The story behind my word; last year was a big struggle with being in depression and burn out of which I am still recovering. Depression was getting me more and more tighter in it's hold until I didn't know any better than feeling like I did. Now I have the choice to keep in this pattern or keep fighting hard and harder against it. Do I want to stay bitter or do I let love again in my hard. I want to be more lovingly. Towards people. Which I haven't been the kindest and nicest of most fun person to be around the last year. But also more lovingly towards myself. Respect who I am, what I stand for. Love myself as I am while I work hard to get better and work hard to improve myself. So I was thinking on lovingly thinking, behavior and such and than it struck me as I read Ali's blog that this was my Little word. (I had totally forgotten about it before)
Cheers to the new year!!